Failure to Thrive

There are affiliate links in this post. I earn a small commission from qualifying purchases at no extra cost to you.

The garden is associated with so many life lessons, I’ll share one here about failing to thrive. Working in the garden, which I will admit was not always my favorite task, has become a place of peace and pondering for me these days. You see, when you go work in the garden, a child, especially one that wants something, doesn’t tend to bother to ask you for said want for fear of that dreaded invitation to help with a task to finish up the work. It’s generally quiet out there giving you time to think – tranquility is a rare commodity in a house with 5 children. We are a loud family! We are known to break out in song with just the mention of one word or phrase from the song. This song may be sung in opera, at the top of the lungs, in the voice of a chipmunk, beatboxed, or all of the above possibly on repeat or in a round. So you see, the quiet of birds chirping, a sprinkler, maybe a tractor in the distance, it has its appeal these days.

So I came across this bean plant the other day (pictured above) as we were weeding & reseeding the green beans. It was just a little stem while its neighbors were taking off just a bit taller with leaves filling out nicely. I was tempted to pull it and start over – it was failing to thrive. I was thinking about my life, the start I had and where I was headed, and thought – what if God gave up on me in my failure to thrive in his kingdom and chose to start over?  I was doing well in life by the world’s standards, so don’t think I was homeless and lost without a cause. I had a degree, a good job making more money than I had ever made in my life. After four years of being under the debt of student loans, paying my way through college, this new path life was putting me on seemed like freedom. I had no idea I was lost, I thought I had it all. Just as this new, potentially destructive path was taking off, instead of plucking me out, God had mercy and sent one of his sons to bring me to His light.

At this same time, my future husband was looking at his past steps and figuring out his future path. I met him on the first day of my first out-of-college job. He had started the same job about 6 months prior.  I was assigned to work in his cubicle, but there was one day overlap between him leaving and me beginning. I was told to sit at an empty desk and read a transmission manual. It was thrilling. Naturally, I socialized with my cube mates and learned the lay of the land. In that morning, my future hubs, who had never been skiing in his life, managed to mention that there was ski trip coming up for the new hires that was being organized by one of my friends. So always one for a party, I called my friend and reserved my spot on the ski lift by the next day.  I got to know all the other new hires on this ski trip, but started to get to know my future husband more. So much so that I agreed to let him take me home from our carpool drop off, even though he wasn’t really going in my direction. I thought nothing of it and jumped in his truck for my ride home. That’s when he drove, at high speed, drifting around the corner, onto a random dirt road. Every episode of Dateline flashed through my mind and the thought – how could you be so stupid!! Thankfully it was just a shortcut and maybe a test to see if I could handle his crazy driving. I must have passed all the initial tests, because our friendship continued.

So back to him choosing his future path, he then had a choice: Should he pursue the safe new relationship option with the Christian girl that his family introduced him to (the healthy, leafy plant), or take a chance on this wildcard from work (the failure to thrive, leafless stalk). Well I won’t say he initially picked correctly here, that’s a story for another day, but eventually the wildcard won. I am forever thankful that God steered my husband’s heart and path in my direction. He had a plan for me, and my husband introduced me to what a relationship with the Lord meant. Not that it always looks perfect, but that’s exactly the point, isn’t it? He showed me my need for Jesus in my life.

I sometimes wonder, what if my husband hadn’t taken that chance on me? What if he left the leafless stub of a stalk to fend for itself? I probably would have worked my way up the corporate ladder, maybe found an equally self-seeking mate. I might even still have a Corvette to drive around town, but probably would have lost long ago my license to drive it. Having the illusion that you are in control of your own life is exhausting. I would much rather rest in the security that I am one of God’s children, that He orders my steps, and that when I am lost and when I am not, I can, and need to, lean on him for direction.

Are there any leafless stalks out there that are ready? Any stalks in your life that need to hear the truth of the Gospel? Take the path to receive the Truth, or take the risk and share the Truth of the Gospel. Don’t let the lonely stalks be choked out by the surrounding weeds.

Just like a garden needs constant nurturing, weeding out the bad while keeping the good, and regular maintenance, we too need to be constantly in the Word seeking God’s truth. Hopefully one of the obvious places to be fed the truth is your church.  If you don’t have a home church, check out our church! Now equipped with the handy feature of being able to be streamed online. Properly equipped with a daily dose of truth and with the Holy Spirit leading the way, we can do our part to make sure no lonely leafless stalks are left behind.

One of the world’s great Christian apologists, Ravi Zacharias, passed on to his heavenly home this week. I have no doubt he heard, “Well done my good faithful servant” upon arrival. If you ever wrestled with difficult to understand questions about God, give one of Ravi’s many teachings a chance – you won’t regret the time spent. He has many books, videos and podcasts available; get educated! God gave him the gift of being able to unfold and share many of God’s truths in a way we can grasp and understand. He was one of the great educators that shaped the testimony of my husband, and then in turn my testimony.

One of the gifts that the covid pandemic has brought our family is more time in the evening together. This has ignited our reading time together and one of the books we enjoyed recently was the memoir of Ravi Zacharias, Walking from East to West; God in the Shadows. The book takes you back to his beginnings and walks through his life and his journey to discover that God is the author of our destinies and our purpose for being. It was well worth the read. Disclaimer: this link and the few that follow contains affiliate links that earn a small commission at no additional cost to you. Another recent book that was filled with biographies of individuals that illustrate biblical truths is Legacies of Light by Stephen Davey. What I enjoyed about this book is that it told the whole story, not just the sunshine and rainbows of the story. It shows the triumphs and the failures of God’s messengers, proving, just like the Bible displays time and time again, we all can be God’s messengers.  You don’t have to have your ducks in a row to share the love of Jesus, in fact that’s exactly the point – it’s not about you! And lastly for family reading time, I have mentioned it before but it’s worth a second shout out: Castaway Kid by R. B. Mitchell.  Have you read it yet? Let me know what you think. My in-laws read it and echoed my recommendation. It’s the life story of Rob Mitchell’s journey as of a “lifer” in an American orphanage.

For the younger readers my recommendations include the Jesus Storybook Bible that tells the Story beneath all the stories in the Bible pointing to Jesus as our Savior. Also The Biggest Story: How the Snake Crusher Brings Us Back to the Garden helps to make the connections from the garden of Eden to Christ’s death on the cross to the new heaven and new earth. Looking forward on my list for mommy/Nora reading time, recommended by my friend Meg, is Sammy and the Shepherd. It takes you through Psalm 23 from the point of view of a sheep named Sammy. Our four year old is a child that loves her stories on repeat, which is fine with me. God knew I would need these basic lessons over and over again!

I would love your recommendations for our future reading list, message me with them or drop them in the comments below.

All this to say, I know that we as Christians may not feel gifted in leading those that are failing to thrive to the truth of Jesus Christ, but don’t be shy to share God’s gospel (Mark 4:21). Instead of plucking the struggling from your life, help them to remove the weeds from their lives and surround them with the love of Jesus so that they can see His light.

Lest you think we sit around in our evenings together as a perfect family in deep theological discussions, we usually read and pray after a heated game of Settlers of Catan. This game, during which we desperately need to be kinder to one another, affords us the opportunity to practice asking for, and giving, forgiveness! I have heard it called the marriage wrecker. It’s still one of my favorite games. The highly competitive nature of the game speaks to me…and it gives us opportunity to practice our lessons in kindness.

I hope this was helpful to someone out there, even if you skipped all the Jesus talk and learn that sometimes, if you leave a leafless stalk behind in your garden, it may just grow to be the most bearing plant in the row. It’s a gamble I’m so glad my husband took on me so many years ago, and I know now that it was God at work in both of our lives!